You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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