There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
