whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
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