I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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