You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
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