dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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