but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
