Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
