No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
