i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
