He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
