There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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