How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
