oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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