Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
