I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
