I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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