i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
only if we run a train.
done.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
