Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
