It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
