Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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