Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
