Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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