We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
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