by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
