No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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