Sober January is a disaster.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
