Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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