I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
