He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
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