Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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