Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
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