Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
