In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
