he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
