Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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