the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
