I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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