BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
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