the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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