We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
