I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
