She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
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