Duck Duck Cougar?
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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