I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
