How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
