I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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