ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
