What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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