yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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