I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize