Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
