My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize