I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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