Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
