Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
