He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
