We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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