I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
4 words: hood of his car
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
