I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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